Brendan McCullum

Monster Nights: Australia bite back at Lords

A net session, two monster nights watching Australia bite back and a dangerous lack of sleep combined with house painting. Frantic 36 hours in my life it has been. I even sound like Yoda now.

On Thursday I headed down my local cricket club for a net with a few clubmen. A great way to kick off the second Test. My mediocre batting was extremely rusty, the feet didn’t move an inch. I had a profound thought: ‘this is what Bruce Reid felt like’. I was swatting away looking for Louie. It will be a long pre-season!

I headed home to my lovely partner who also loves Test match cricket. We (she) made some nice food and celebrated the first win, the toss. Australia needed to win that, bat first and make a big impression. That they have done.

Steve Smith, the world’s number one batsman, justified the tag. His ungainly technique, best described as (a long way) back and across was questioned by punters who believed the English conditions would undo him. A pair of 33s at Cardiff showed promise. He then became the first Aussie to nail a double ton at Lords since 1938.

Most blokes would be happy if this was their season wagon wheel. Steve Smith's 215 at Lords went all around the ground.

Most blokes would be happy if this was their season wagon wheel. Steve Smith’s 215 at Lords went all around the ground.

Smith takes guard outside leg stump and in instances of LBW appeals he often gets struck outside the line of off stump, demonstrating how far he moves across. Superstar batsman and part-time spinner Joe Root eventually got him LBW. But it was deeply controversial. The on-field umpire gave it out, Smith reviewed.

We all know the first golden rule of LBW. If it pitches outside leg stump it cannot be out. It doesn’t matter if ball tracking shows that it will hit the middle of middle. The other golden rule of LBW is that you cannot be given out if you were struck on the pad outside the line of off-stump.

The on-field umpire gave this out. Smith reviewed and the 3rd umpire failed to overturn the decision. Allegedly there is 1mm of the ball hitting Smith in line here. I think this system or assumption requires a review.

The on-field umpire gave this out. Smith reviewed and the 3rd umpire failed to overturn the decision. Allegedly there is 1mm of the ball hitting Smith in line here. I think this system or assumption requires a review.

Australia’s 8/566 declared was set up by Chris Rogers’ 173. He presented one of the finest catalogues of stroke play anyone could hope to see. The 37 year-old county circuit stalwart showed his team mates how to play in swinging English conditions. Broad and Anderson, two of the best fast bowlers the world has seen in the last 15 years, were negated by Rogers’ gentle and deeply effective late-play technique. He hit 28 fours on a fast outfield at his home ground (Rogers is Middlesex Captain). He and Smith put on 284 and Peter Nevill posted a nice 46 on debut.

Australia will be concerned that others didn’t make use of the conditions to find form. Clarke, Warner, Voges and Marsh need runs. England bowled much better on the second day and did well to restrict Australia below 600.

But the best bowling of the match was on display when Australia declared 10 minutes after the Tea break. Clarke sent his big three fast-bowlers out with a mission to rip into England’s top order. They responded with the best wholesale display of fast-bowling seen in the series so far. The young Josh Hazlewood bowled 10 overs on the bounce with the new ball and returned figures of 1/22. He was full and straight and swinging. There was none of the short and wide nonsense that Australia served up in Wales.

Hazlewood clean bowled Ian Bell. It was a ripper delivery and this ball tracker image displays the unplayable nature of the swing Hazlewood extracted from the heavily lacquered English Duke ball.

Hazlewood clean bowled Ian Bell. It was a ripper delivery. Ball tracker shows the huge swing Hazlewood extracted from the heavily lacquered English Duke ball.

Both of Australia’s left-armers were in on the act. Starc took out Adam Lyth and Mitchell Johnson coming on at first change knocked over Gary Ballance and snicked up the highly prized wicket of Joe Root. England were lucky not to be further in the hole with several french cuts narrowly missing stumps, yorkers desperately dug out and one or two snicks flying through recently unplugged holes in the cordon.

England will be pleased at the efforts of Ben Stokes and Alistair Cook to resist the onslaught and take England from 4/30 to 4/85 at stumps. The hosts trail by 481 and there’s a huge pile of work awaiting them on day 3.

The follow-on in Test cricket is 200 runs. So England need to make at least 366 to force Australia to bat again.

This picture sums up Lords nicely. It's a beautiful ground the gentry among the crowd enjoy the action with plenty of flowing bubbles.

This picture sums up Lords nicely. It’s a beautiful ground the gentry among the crowd enjoy the action with plenty of flowing bubbles.

A funny thing happened at two o’clock this morning watching the cricket. I was with a couple of good mates – Ian and Brad – and we’d set up camp for the evening with plenty of beers, ribs and wings. The night wore on and it became quite cold by local tropical standards. Ian pulls out a ridiculous bright red 1980s sports jacket with twin yellow pin stripes down the arms. The thing wouldn’t look out of place among the bacon and egg ties and jackets of the Marlybone Cricket Club at Lords.

Legend has it the jacket is actually MCC issue: “you get one when you make it onto the MCC Members waiting list”. If the big fella gets anywhere near the MCC his wife will never get him out of the long room bar!

Enjoy the rest of the Test frothers. This one is not over yet.

Graeme Smith retires, Australia on brink

Australia command proceedings in Cape Town and South Africa’s captain Graeme Smith has announced his retirement from international cricket.

Smith has had a brilliant career. He concludes having played 117 Test Matches averaging 48. He has been a solid opening bat, fearless leader and capable tactician. He has led South Africa to the top of the ICC Test Rankings. The Proteas haven’t lost a Test series since the 2008-09 southern summer.

Leadership duties may have taken their toll on Smith. He has been captain for 109 of those 117 Tests after being installed as the boss at just 22. Cape Town is his home ground and it’d be nice for him and his nation if he could craft a big score and save his side from defeat.

Australia on the brink of victory at Cape Town?

Australia can beat the number 1 side at home. Two days remain in the 3rd and final Test. Bar miracles, the hosts cannot win. Let’s face it they’re a bowler down with Dale Steyn injured. Unless Morne Morkel rips through Australia’s second innings tonight in a bout of absolute ferocious mayhem and South Africa’s batsmen tear down what would be at least 300-350 runs, then a draw is their only hope for salvation.

Australia lead by 234 runs with 10 2nd innings wickets in hand. They’ll bat aggressively tonight. Michael Clarke will go for the kill by declaring in due time for his bowlers to rip into the Proteas. They’ll have 4 or 5 sessions to survive the onslaught.

And what an onslaught it will be. During the first two sessions on day 3 Australia’s bowlers routed South Africa’s world class top order. Ryan Harris and Mitchell Johnson took 7 wickets with precision and persistent hostility.

Don’t touch the ball!

At one point shortly after lunch yesterday du Plessis blocked one away near his feet. He politely picked up the ball and threw it back to the bowler. A half dozen Australian fielders frantically swooped delivering a chorus of tirades.

“Don’t you dare touch the f****** ball” was the gist. For 30+ years Australian Test teams do not permit opposition batsmen to touch their ball. Some might call this unreasonable or unbecoming of gentlemen, but it is deeply psychological and Test cricket is psychological warfare. Arguably their ball policy contributes to an arsenal of weapons, which are strategically deployed to grind opponents into dust.

A toilet break

Until last night I have never ever seen a batsmen leave the field of play on an unscheduled break, let alone in the middle of an over, to go to the toilet. I didn’t think it was permitted, especially 15min into play after a 40min lunch break. Faf du Plessis crabbed off and left everyone standing about the middle hands-on-hips for 5mins. The stump mics were quickly turned down by the broadcaster when du Plessis returned to another spray (no pun intended) which Supersport commentator Mike Haysman described as “colourful”.

Bowled out

The sharp needling continued. A short time later Mitchell Johnson snicked out AB de Villiers. JP Duminy didn’t last long, but Philander batted well with du Plessis.

Nathan Lyon had a right to be aggrieved twice when Brad Haddin missed stumping du Plessis and Alex Doolan failed to take a catch at bat pad 2 balls later. The canny du Plessis-Philander partnership amassed 95. The Proteas did not evade the follow on target of 294, but they did successfully exceed the limit within which Michael Clarke would have enforced it. I think that was around 220. South Africa were eventually bowled out for 287.


Australia will go for the win. Of that there can be no doubt. Michael Clarke is an aggressive captain and they’re desperate for success after a mostly tumultuous 2012 and 13. If South Africa can drill into the Aussie top order early this evening it will deepen interest in all three outcomes. Australia has proved it can collapse like a straw house in Cyclone Yasi. For this reason I expect stoic batting at first and then a canter for quick runs and a wave from the pavilion.

Graeme Smith will begin his last innings at some point today. For cricket’s sake I hope he is able to manufacture a memorable finale.

Welcome to Cape Town: best ground in the world?

Newlands at Cape Town is a firm candidate for the best ground in world cricket. On Saturday it hosts one of the most anticipated Test matches in a decade. Aside from the rife speculation about the teams, I am utterly engrossed in this monumental contest and cannot wait to see if the Aussies can bounce back from being razed by South Africa.

I’ll probably harm my own performance in club cricket by staying up very late watching every ball. But any self respecting cricket nut cannot miss this. The series is level at 1-1 and South Africa clench the ascendency. They battered Australia at Port Elizabeth.

South Africa’s batting was supreme whereas Australia’s middle order didn’t turn up. They fell to pieces in the 4th innings chase of 449. At 1/150 they were a slight chance, but the loss of 9 wickets for 68 runs brought them to their knees. South Africa beheaded them with ruthless conviction. The Proteas executed them a bowler short too. Wayne Parnell tore a muscle and was unable to bowl. On a feather bed wicket suited more to patient batting than blast-em-to-pieces fast bowling, Australia’s brittle order was shredded by Dale Steyn, Vernon Philander and part-time spinners.

Openers Warner and Rogers made 173 of the 2nd innings 216. That’s frightening. Rolled for 216 coupled with a first innings failure of 246, it’s clear the batting needs to improve. But, so does the bowling.

Ryan Harris looked absolutely knackered and Johnson was unable to kill people on the slow wicket. Nathan Lyon bowled a thousand overs and without a fourth seamer the Aussies had to “unleash” David Warner’s lollipops.

Tampered ball?

David Warner has suggested that South Africa inappropriately handled the ball. More specifically he referred to the way wicket-keeper AB deVilliers “wiped” the rough side of the ball with his gloves. The implication is that the Proteas deliberately scuffed up the rough side of the Kookaburra to induce more swing. South African officials rubbished Warner’s claims. Coach Russell Domingo stated that Warner’s “disappointing” remarks had “added an extra 10 per cent motivation to the [South African] guys”.

Team Changes

For me Shane Watson must replace Shaun Marsh and bat at 6. Marsh has 6 ducks in 11 innings. Four from years ago, but a pair at Port Elizabeth. Alex Doolan stays because Australia must procure a proper number 3. Ryan Harris misses out for James Pattinson. Harris is brilliant, but needs a rest and Pattinson can become a superstar. He is that good.

The hosts need to replace Parnell and might go back to Ryan McClaren who was concussed by Johnson in the first Test. They might also go for Kyle Abbot who destroyed Pakistan last year in his only Test.

Newlands the greatest

I elevate Newlands as the most spectacular ground in world cricket because of its sheer beauty. To watch a Test there is a dream of mine. I have experienced Australian grounds. I’ve seen Tests at Lords, Kensington Oval and Queen’s Park in Barbados and Trinidad. Newlands would eclipse them all. Tabletop Mountain provides a stunning canvass and classic stands lead to grassy hills shaded by huge trees. Don’t miss the stunning scenery or the sparkling cricket.

Chasing status: The Pursuit at Port Elizabeth

As I write South Africa have finally declared at St George’s Park. Their lead is 447. Australia’s task is mammoth. The Aussies have never scored more than 406 in the fourth innings of a Test match.

The Australian top order failed in their first innings. The bottom 3 scored more runs than 3 of the top 4. If that trend is repeated then South Africa will defeat them and level the series 1 each. The Aussies need a a record breaking performance to win. If weather doesn’t disrupt this chase then surely a draw is off the table. 165 overs remain. Australia either score the runs or South Africa will bowl them out.

The hosts will be desperate for success. Their bowlers will send down missiles either side of lunch with the new rock, but the wicket is tame and the Proteas’ fourth seamer Wayne Parnell looks unfit to bowl. If Chris Rogers and David Warner get through then there are runs to harvest in the sunshine. Michael Holding compared the pitch to the Recreation Ground in Antigua, a feather bed run paradise. Both sides are a chance so it’ll be a great finish whatever the result.

THE CAT! Did anyone see the cat yesterday? It ran on the pitch, tore through the area between fine leg and 3rd man, leapt about in a rage of wicked joy and took off over the fence. I’ve seen dogs and a pig (alas), but never a cat at the cricket. I suppose there have been a few decent birds in the crowd…

How good is AB de Villiers!

Abraham Benjamin de Villiers is the best batsmen in world cricket. AB has reached at least 50 in his last 12 Test matches. The guy is an enigma, averaging just shy of 52 from 90 Tests. And he’s a wicket keeper and only 30 years old.

The accomplished right hander finished unbeaten – again – overnight. His 51 not contributes nearly a quarter of South Africa’s 5/214 at stumps. An intriguing battle with Nathan Lyon framed the start of his innings. He couldn’t score a run, testament to a well set field and tight bowling. AB navigated the tense exchange. If he bats for another session or two the Proteas will post a solid total. On this feather bed deck I reckon they need about 350 to squeeze the Aussies.

Australia’s batting can be brittle. ABC Grandstand’s Jim Maxwell indicated it’s about time they suffered a collapse that even Brad Haddin and the tail can’t escape. I think he’s right.

The pitch requires graft from batsmen and toil from bowlers. Discipline and patience the keys for batsman. Persistence and execution of sage plans by bowlers and fielding captains the ingredients for wickets. It’s not the sort of surface for blasting out batters with jaw shattering pace, but don’t rule this out. The bowlers on show are the best.

All eyes will be on Vernon Philander when the Saffers bowl. It was like when McGrath stood on the ball and rolled his ankle before the 2nd Test at Edgbaston in 2005. Philander strained a ham string. Distraught with panic the Proteas replaced him with Rory Klienvelt on the team sheet, only for big Vernon to express to his captain he was fine. The change was reversed. If this Test is anything like Birmingham 2005 then I shall need a defibrillator on hand.


Should Shane Watson replace Alex Doolan?

Australia’s desecration of South Africa’s batting at Centurion was decisive. I have never seen a more terrifying image on a cricket field than when Mitchell Johnson struck Hashim Amla in the helmet grille. That moment sums up the challenge straddling the Proteas.

Had Amla not been wearing a helmet it is possible he would have been killed. The ball would have certainly disintegrated his jaw and shattered every tooth. The footage is frightening.

What is Johnson doing?

When highlighting Johnson’s assets barely anyone mentions his left arm. With 254 wickets at 27.5 Johnson is one of the best lefties. The best of them is Wasim Akram who swung it both ways. Akram wasn’t a murderer. Johnson is and batsmen know it. To right hand batters he hits the blind spot causing concern for rib cages and faces. Lefties struggle to cope with the line: go back and you lose your poles, get in line and lose your face.

It’s a testament to Amla’s sheer world class quality that he went on to score 35 after copping that on his first ball. If he, Smith, Faf du Plessis and AB deVilliers get a plan to counter Johnson then the series will be back in the balance.

Port Elizabeth does present different prospects.

More toil will be required from bowlers on a slower wicket and some uncertainty over Australia’s XI might play into the host’s favour. South Africa’s quality means they’re capable of a fight back, perhaps even a 2-1 win.

The Watson Question

Yet again Shane Waton’s selection raises debate. He was ruled out via injury and replaced by Alex Doolan who scored 27 and 89. The latter was a fine innings in tough circumstances. Doolan’s performance coupled with the fact he’s a genuine number 3 should guarantee a place for the remainder of this series. Australia have been searching for a number 3 for some time. It is not clear yet if Doolan is the answer, but it is clear that Shane Watson is not. So why pick Watson?

His bowling is handy. Watson’s stump to stump medium pace builds pressure by conceding few runs. It allows Michael Clarke to rest his thoroughbred pacemen or set them loose from the other end. Australia’s batsmen attacked SA’s spinners at one end. It was a fruitful tactic. Graeme Smith couldn’t tie up an end. He couldn’t rest his pacemen. He had to call on Steyn, Philander and Morkel to stem run flows rather than attack for wickets. All-out attack necessitates risk and a bowler like Watson can mitigate risk and relieve front-line pacers. But, Australia needs to stabilise its top order and Johnson, Harris, Siddle and Lyon are doing the job with the ball anyway.

Australia could drop Shaun Marsh for Watson, but Marsh scored 148 and 44. All-rounder Moises Henriques is also in the touring party. Perhaps Australia should develop him instead of reinstalling Watson. Cricket Australia should send one of these two home to play Shield cricket. No chance of both playing at once.

How do you survive 150kmph thunderbolts?

To witness the South African top order being steamrolled would be rare. Busting a gut to stay awake last night I capitulated and missed M Johnson driving the heavy roller straight through the Proteas’ front gate. Did you see it?

Of late, batsmen appear to be entering the infamous Bermuda Triangle when Johnson grabs the leather cherry.

Graeme Smith, Faf du Plessis and Ryan McLaren were lost at sea under the cyclonic storm of Johnson lifters, bouncers and fullish swingers. Smith played defensively from the crease to a ball he thought was about chest height. It kept coming. At his face. He had no choice but to turn the head and use the bat to defend the door to his soul. The ball smacked the splice of his bat and shot off over the slips. The entire cordon took off in pursuit and Shaun Marsh took a ripper. Alviro Petersen surrendered meekly, slashing at a wide one. Faf du Plessis was shocked out by a 150kmph lifter which he attempted to fend away. It spat out to second slip. New boy McLaren had his castle obliterated, playing well outside the line of another Johnson thunderbolt. The effervescent Peter Siddle took the prized scalp of Hashim Amla, adjudged LBW on review. Nathan Lyon removed a counter-attacking JP Duminy, brilliantly caught by Johnson (who else?).

I guarantee South Africa will fight back. They require 57 to avoid the follow on and they’ll get it. AB De Villiers is the best batsman in the world and is 52 runs. He’ll resume tonight with a very sore forearm after Johnson struck it hard on a mistimed pull. I’d be out for weeks if it were me. AB is tougher than I.

As long as Robin Peterson plays the role of foil, the Saffers can push on. Vernon Philander can bat. I feel that AB might drag them along toward 250. Anything beyond is game on, because Steyn will get those crazy eyes whirring for Australia’s second innings and his buddies Philander and Morkel will supercharge their efforts to get the hosts back in it.

Over at the Basin Reserve in New Zealand India won the toss this morning and asked the Black Caps to bat. MS Dhoni got it right. His quicks knocked out the hosts for 192. India are 2/100 in reply. The Kiwis lead the series 1-0 after securing an absolutely stunning victory in Auckland last week. NZ made 500 and knocked India over for 200. Then the Kiwis self-destructed and were bundled out for 100. India nearly chased down the 400 required falling 40 short. Who on earth believes Test matches are boring? Get a life!

World class cricket battles: India in New Zealand & Australia in South Africa

One month to go until the T20 World Cup kicks off in Bangladesh. Hang on, there’s two big Test tours cracking on so don’t miss out on this action. Some massive battles are to be waged before the slog-festival begins.

As England lick their wounds, shuffle coaches and controversially scuttle international careers, the giants of world cricket India are currently in the trenches in New Zealand and Australia collide with world number 1 South Africa.

The night before the first Test in Auckland I noticed that a few betting agencies were offering 4-1 odds or $4 for India to beat the Black Caps in the first Test. I fancied taking a massive slice of that. New Zealand are on the up and have some great young players, but I think post-Tendulkar India are also on the up.

Some of their new batsmen look the genuine goods. Cheteshwar Pujara, Shikhar Dhawan and Virat Kohli are quality players and India boast some excellent spin stocks and proven pace bowlers. I’m glad I forgot to throw my wallet at the betting agency because New Zealand have galloped straight out of the barricade at Eden Park.

NZ made 503 despite their best batsman Ross Taylor surrendering for 3. A hundred from young number 3 Kane Williamson and an unbeaten double century by Captain Brendan McCullum puts NZ in an almost impenetrable position in the first of this two Test series. India are ranked 2 in the world, if they wish to be number 1 for a sustained period they must win away from home. They are currently 2/5 in response to NZ’s massive first innings total.

Australia in South Africa

Meanwhile on the other side of the southern hemisphere Australia prepare for the first Test against South Africa in Centurion. Make no mistake this 3 Test series will deliver frantic drama and cricket right out of the top drawer. The Proteas remain strong favourites for me, but Australia are bouncing after defeating England 5-0. It will be an awful series to be a batsmen with two extremely fierce bowling attacks chomping to rip into willow wielders. Australian captain Michael Clarke has asserted that Australia has the best bowling attack in the world. I can’t accept this.

Dayle Steyne is the best fast-bowler on the planet and he is backed by worthy co-stars Vernon Philander and Morne Morkel. Philander has a ridiculous record; 20 Tests averaging 18 with the ball. He is a wicket machine. Aggression, pace, hostility is South Africa’s bowling attack. Where’s the weakness?

Jaques Kallis recently retired. The best all-rounder ever to play cricket. His absence will reverberate and South Africa already look a little familiar. Are they on the way down?

Australia’s batting is still not proven in the toughest of circumstances. The 5-0 against England was achieved among many top order collapses and lower order saves.

It should be a hard fought close series. I’m tipping a 1-1 draw. Enjoy the battle!